hagar mua

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this is some fine literature right here. heres my au in which hagar is a 2019 beauty vlogger


Hey Hay-GANG welcome back to my channel! Mwah! Today we're going to be doing a look called "Evening Vibes When Your Boyfriend of Many Decades Is Suddenly No Longer Interested In You and You're Questioning Your Entire Self Worth!". It's gonna be really cute and fresh, your skin is going to be looking SO youthful and glowy that you're guaranteed to get your man back!

So first we're gonna be taking charcoal gray eyeliner and just fill our eyebrows with it anyway even though that's not the intended use of eyeliner anyway because who's gonna notice? Your boyfriend? He doesn't notice you anyway! Even when you break into his house with a weapon! He literally does not care!

Next I'm taking this beautiful mango tango color and just smearing it all over my cheeks, much like the way it feels Milkm-- your boyfriend took your heart from your chest, and crushed and smeared it all over the cages of your ribs! Hehe!

Now I'm taking this perfect sunny glow highlighter and going to town on my cheekbones!!! You want your man-who-is-no-longer-your-man to notice you coming, NOT with a weapon, from miles away so he can see how wrong and ungrateful he was to ignore you! Once you've absolutely obliterated your cheeks with that, you're gonna want to go back in with just a teensy bit of mango tango again, because it was probably covered up.. Much like the way your boyfriend may have covered up your years of love with indifference!

Moving on from cheeks, much like how some people may decide to abruptly move on from you, we're going to be applying a beautiful jungle red lipstick all over. Make sure to overline severely, because you're going to want him to remember how perfectly kissable your lips are. For a finishing touch, take any baby blue or sparkling periwinkle and apply it allll over your lids, just as a little reminder about the heights you will never be able to reach! Make sure to take your youth serum and rub that all over your hard work, kinda like how a loved one may suddenly choose to ruin your entire relationship out of boredom :)



Comments

  1. Jessie ZhouNovember 3, 2019 at 8:00 AM

    I love this. This was a hilarious read, and I enjoyed every second of it. What's even more funny is that I can totally picture Hagar doing this... and Hagar's sarcasm was on point. It's a very nice parallelism to the scene in the book where she also overdid her make-up but it adds a funnier twist to the scene.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ms. ValentinoNovember 3, 2019 at 12:50 PM

    This parody made me laugh! "He doesn't notice you anyway."

    ReplyDelete
  3. Allison WeiNovember 3, 2019 at 1:02 PM

    OHMYGOSH LUNA THIS IS SO GOOD. first of all the creativity?? idk how you managed to capture the youtuber mua voice so well but i felt like i could literally HEAR this as if it was an actual youtube video. also the fact that hagar used an eyeliner as a eyebrow filler? um...maybe girl needs some makeup lessons herself

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  4. Kennedy's ThoughtsNovember 3, 2019 at 3:51 PM

    This is so hilarious! You did a really good job including what was said in the story and all of the lingo that an actual 2019 youtuber would use! This is amazing!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Sejal PatilNovember 3, 2019 at 4:18 PM

    Luna, I love this post! You took such a modern twist on Hagar's makeup scene. Hagar clearly put on all of the makeup as a reaction to Milkman's cruel attitude towards her. You were able to capture Hagar's discontent and anger in the entire passage and I love how you showed the double meaning for all the different applications of makeup. This was so funny and I felt like I got a closer view of Hagar's mind and disposition towards Milkman. Great Job!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Apoorva MirjiNovember 3, 2019 at 6:42 PM

    This is such a great post!!! I love how you incorporated the novel into the modern world of youtube. This is such a creative path to express Hagar's heartbreak. Also it's kind of sassy which I love because it gives Hagar this stronger personality which I wish she had in the novel! This was so fun to read!! Great Job!

    ReplyDelete

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