here's a post for you

the following is the notebook entry i wrote last week after we were asked to reflect on poetry and what it means to us on a personal note. there are probably going to be format issues since i wrote it on my phone. 

I think I resist poetry because i don’t understand it and i am too lazy to try and figure it out. I guess that makes me look pretty good if i’m willing to admit it but that’s the truth. I have gone through my academic career ignoring poetry as much as possible. I remember my dislike for poetry beginning in the 8th grade. I hated learning about sonnets and lyrics and AB AB or whatever, it was annoying to try to memorize and it made me angry. And then we had to go and write poems and it’s like, I’m thirteen what do you want from me, and then my poem got reported to the counselor for being concerning. Like goddamn I can only express my trauma I don’t have anything else to write about!!! AND THEN Mr. Bodick's class rest his soul truly but i remember once again trying to memorize all that [bad word] and I think i got bad grades on the quizzes because i never cared enough to actually study them. So i think i have been very ..... disinclined to learn about poetry my entire life, so idk maybe I should give it a shot. It’s just annoying to me. I feel like the before picture of a plastic surgery

This does not reach the 250 word mark, so I will elaborate a little more for grade's sake. Upon further reflection, I think the reason I have always hated poetry is because it didn't make or give me an immediate understanding and success. With grade school English classes, I never really felt like I had to try until I got to the AP-- it was always something I was naturally good at, and as a child who struggled with a lot of other subjects, excelling in reading and writing gave me a lot of pride and comfort. And then poetry comes around, and knocks me off my feet. It's the first time I had ever really encountered this type of intimidating academia. Lovers of poetry may argue that poetry is anything but clinically academic, and I'm willing to believe them since they are definitely more credible on the subject than I am, but that's the plain truth. I simply carry an association with poetry of struggling and challenge, and until I can overcome that challenge I don't think I'll ever be able to face it with anything other than contempt.