i can make connections

this has spoilers for uncut gems sorry

last week, as i was wrapping up my reading of death of a salesman, it was terribly difficult to ignore the ways in which arthur miller wrote the script to signify willy's exponential descent into madness. and i thought to myself, if simply reading the lines as a text gives me a headache, i can't imagine what seeing this on stage would be like, with all the lights and effects and enunciation and props. what really communicates willy's feelings, in my opinion, is the increasing appearance of the voices that willy hears. the scene in the restaurant in particular was the breaking point for my brain-- so much was going on, with the sons, and willy's nightmarish train of thought, and the girls, and stanley who happened to be a waiter there (?). yes, this occurs throughout the entire story, but it's easy to tell that the more times the flute begins to play, the closer we are as the audience to the climax. to say it was hard to follow would be an extreme understatement, but that's what exemplifies willy's state of mind the best. at many times i questioned the validity of willy's memories too-- i was never able to be sure if what i was reading actually happened in his life, or if it was a twisted version of his past in order to feed his own brain's confirmation bias. this reminded me of the movie uncut gems, featuring adam sandler, which i recently watched sometime in the summer. the film utilizes lots of quick transitions and harsh soundtracks throughout literally the entire movie to demonstrate howard's constant state of hyperactivity, and now that i think about it he reminds me a lot of willy as well. although howard was arguably more wealthy based on his career as a jeweler, he struggled to make peace with his life and family, and the unsatisfaction he felt about every possible detail of it led to his death too.